How To Keep Your Relationship From Falling Apart
February 13, 2012
You’re probably reading this wondering how a girl who is an absolute failure at relationships could possibly know anything about keeping them, right? Here’s the thing. Maybe I can’t keep them, but I do know how to stop them from falling apart. So here is my advice.
Think of your relationship as a delicate soufflé dish and this article as your recipe page. A soufflé is very delicate and if you make one mistake it could deflate without hesitation. So before you start reading the ingredients your relationship soufflé should have, consider these tips:
- Never get into a relationship if you don’t want to be in it in the first place. Now, you are probably thinking, “What kind of advice is this?” You have no idea how many people have told me that they didn’t really want the relationship to begin with. The advice I have lived by since I started dating is to never begin dating someone if you do not feel emotionally connected to them. If you do, you would be leading someone on, you wouldn’t be happy, and the relationship would end resulting in a total waste of your time.
- Be prepared for anything! Because you never know if that person will be the one person who is meant for you, and if you get scared and run away from it, both of you will be hurt. So be sure you are ready for love.
- Take responsibility. If your soufflé gets ruined or is one ingredient off, don’t blame it on everyone else!
- When adding all of your ingredients into the bowl make sure you know how to act on each one. Don’t completely assume you know how to do something you don’t do.
Now, you will be adding the ingredients to your dish.
- Trust. According to CJ from Dawn of the Dead, trust is considered the most important quality in every relationship, and I may have to agree. There is no such thing as a relationship if you don’t trust the person you’re with. If he or she did something that broke your trust badly enough to where you have to question him or her all the time, then you might as well not be together.
- Communication. This isn’t limited to just talking to the person casually. You must actually open up to the other person, especially if something is wrong with the relationship or something is wrong with yourself. If the other person is doing something wrong, COMMUNICATE! Spoken words are more powerful than unspoken words and if he or she is a good partner, you will reach an understanding. Even following this one step will surprise you at how successful your relationship will be.
- Listen. Do not tune the other out, especially if the other is female. Boys, take it from a female — if your girlfriend is talking and you tune her out, the results could turn out disastrous.
- Know and accept them for who they are. In addition to listening to them, learn about them from the little facts (such as their favorite candy and movie), to the big facts such as their morals and opinions about the world. But make sure, above all, that you understand and accept that you are two totally different people despite how much you may have in common, and you won’t always agree. You will end up disagreeing about a lot of things but don’t let that determine your relationship. Don’t make every conversation a war.
- Respect. Do not control the other, respect his or her personal space, and do not force your partner to do anything he or she doesn’t want to do. Give space and respect his or her privacy.
- Affection. This is a major ingredient. In fact, think of affection and trust as the two ingredients that keep your soufflé from deflating. Affection shows that you are dating; it tells you that the other person cares for you and accepts you for who you are. It tells you that he or she chose you over everyone else they could have chosen.
So now you have a list of all the important qualities that every relationship needs, but I do think that even though you may have all these qualities down, there is still one thing that could make them not matter. Don’t give up. If you lose that spark for a few days, it’s okay. Relationships will do that to you especially after you’re married. It’s hard being with only one person and you will be reminded of that which makes you lose that spark. The best advice I have for you is to not give up right away. Try your hardest for that spark, and if after a while you realize that you can’t get it back, and then do what feels right.